Truthiness

October 17, 2015

I feel like this is a really important point to be made – don’t go thinking that I don’t want Big Magic to be a No.1 New York Times Bestseller, because I do. I have an ego that’s very strong and it wants the same things everyone else’s ego wants, which is everything. It wants everything, it wants 10 of them, it wants them in blue and it wants it tomorrow morning at 7am…it wants and it doesn’t know how to do anything by want, that’s the definition of an ego. Don’t be kidded into thinking I’ve conquered that or that doesn’t exist within me because it absolutely does.

Here’s the thing though, I know that’s not the only thing that I am, and I also know that I’m never going to get rid of that thing, because I also know that that’s a common human denominator of what it means to be a person. I had a friend who was a therapist who had a great line that said “desire is the design flaw”. It’s the glitch in the software system, we all have that. And beautiful things can come out of that desire, because that’s where the urge to make art comes from and where the urge to have romance comes from and to explore the world – all of that is sort of ego-driven from wanting. I want stuff. I’m full of what, brimming over with want…and always was.

But I’m not only that. There’s other parts of me that I think are more interesting, and the part of me that I think is the most interesting is my soul. My soul just wants wonder and connection and creativity, and y’know, forgiveness…and everything my wants are such good things.”

^ Elizabeth Glibert dropping truthbombs on the 100th episode of the Lively Show podcast. I had to go back and transcribe it for myself and really take it in. Because that incredible urge to want things is often so strong, that it sometimes seems to crowd out the desires we have that are less tangible – to want to create, to want to love, to want more time. And especially when you’re an aesthetics addict and collector of many useless small things. Especially when you love instagram and pinterest and do you really need to decorate the house to have people over to celebrate thanksgiving? No, but it’s so satisfying, somehow. Make the world beautiful! Make it pretty! But then also trying to remember that you can just suck the joy out of life desiring one that looks too perfect instead of listening to the other desires of your soul. File under ‘things I’m trying to remember’ as I continue trying to streamline my life and make room for all the good things, instead of only the pretty ones.

 

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